Top 5 Potential Quarter-Life Crises
1. Move to an artists’ loft in San Francisco. Share a space with five other late 20-somethings, all with adverbs for names. Write one-act anthropomorphic tragedies about a family of rabbits. Blatantly steal from Shakespeare’s later work. “Anthony and Cadbury” will be met with mixed reviews at Berkeley’s community theater.
2. Open a vegan bakery. Name it something vaguely sexual, “Sugar Bits.” Or abstract, “Dreams from the Robot Next Door.” Get full sleeve tattoo and argue politics with customers.
3. Have an affair with a foreign diplomat. Name our illegitimate children after each of the Marx brothers.
4. Become a roadie for an 80’s cover band. Tour the Midwest. Learn all the words to Mr. Mister’s “Broken Wings.”
5. Go to law school.
