July 2011
56 posts
Imaginary conversations with the gangly teen...
Me: Oh Cherice, you have to go to kitten prom. You'll regret it later if you don't.
Cherice: Seems like manufactured memories to me.
Me: It is, certainly. But it's not without it's charm.
Cherice: Did you have fun at human prom?
Me: It's not about whether or not I had fun, it's about whether I went. And I did. Twice.
Cherice: ...
Me: You don't have a date, do you? Oh no, did you break up with that scrawny tabby from the alley? I can't say I'm surprised.
Cherice: You'll never understand how hard my life is!
Cherice runs off, slamming the door to her room (a turned over Trader Joe's bag).
June 2011
33 posts
A Mouthful: 4 of L.A.'s Top Comics Talk Comedy... →
Please enjoy this round table with Paul Scheer, Dave Holmes, Steve Agee and TJ Miller. It’s written by my BFF Farley Elliott, who I think we can all agree is pretty great.
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so, call me when you get this to let me know that you got it-of course, if you...
– End paragraph of an email from my dad. Happy Father’s Day, you wonderful worrywart. (I called)
No thought of weight or significance may be properly conveyed while one is...
– Henry Kissinger
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Jack will wake up to walk.
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Bad Dads: Five Of The Worst Fathers In Musical... →
Hey, I see you left Marvin Gaye, Sr. off your list. Even though he shot and killed his son. Oh, Katy Perry’s dad called her a slut or something? Okay. Nice work on your sassy rhyming list, LA Weekly.
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Say some more stuff so I can make fun of you.
– Dave Shumka, delightful Canadian bully
ohheygreat said: WHO LIKES CUSTARD???!
Valid point. I sure don’t.
I’m always wary of the person who comes out with adamant hatred towards Coldplay. Or John Mayer. Hating mainstream rock is like screaming about the negative qualities of vanilla custard. Music that is so intentionally inoffensive seems to be incredibly polarizing to a small, but loud, group of people.
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lifeserial asked: I'll be your meerkat. Just ask.
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On moving
So, maybe the last four or five months I have been in a bit of a rut. I live in Venice, an area that I really love. But I have been taking it for granted, recoiling further and further into the depths of my bedroom. I have two roommates; nice, handsome young fellows, who I can only assume are completely baffled by my hermit behavior. They recently joined a beach volleyball league.
And thus I...