December 2011
40 posts
2 tags
The Decemberists - Angel Won’t You Call Me?
Chris Kelly: 2011 In Review: My Fake Favorites In... →
Super into Thistle right now.
I had a dream that I owned a Sperm whale. He lived in two Olympic pools and when he got bored of one, he’d jump to the other. For my birthday he got me a water polo ball.
WatchWe R bored.
Matt quotes
I keep a list of the weird things my boyfriend says to me. It’s a living document, exactly like the Constitution.
1. You suck at duckface.
2. I’m so public on Facebook. Well, actually I’m super private.
3. I can never tell if truffles add anything.
4. Did you get any cool emails this morning?
My Impression Of American Horror Story
theidiotking:
A CHARACTER WALKS AROUND THE HAUNTED MURDER GHOST HOUSE
CHARACTER: Oh hey, scuse me guys? I don’t mean to be a bother, but we’ve got some ghosts over here… MURDER GHOSTS. You see, those ghosts were murdered, and now those ghosts murdered some other ghosts. And I KNOW that sounds like the end, but there’s MORE. See… there are some people that were here earlier, do you remember?...
WatchChipmunk Christmas Song
From a couple of beautiful weirdos. If you like this, you’ll like [this]. And if you don’t, we probably aren’t friends.
Official: Chris Meloni Joins 'True Blood' as... →
BONERTOWN
2 tags
“Derek has girls stay with him at his apartment in New York, and then he gets...”
– New York Post story about Derek Jeter being gross
Greg
Matt: Greg is just sitting in the nook looking at his phone
me: Is that the guy you hate?
Matt: Yeah. Don't be thrown off by his niceness today. He's mean
me: But he seems like such a nice hip nerd!
Matt: Wrong
me: He's got those lil' glasses
Matt: Glasses made of lies
me: Agree to disagree. I think he's a sweet cuddlemonster.
Matt: Fine.
me: Shh, I'm thinking about Greg. Oh, Greg! Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeg
Matt: Stop it.
me: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreg.
me: Matt
me: Matt
me: Matt
me: Matt
Matt: Alison
me: Quick question
Matt: Ok
me: What do you think Greg is doing RIGHT now?
Matt: Being a jerk
me: I bet he's rescuing a kitten
Matt: No. He hates kittens
me: He’s so nice. I love Greg.
Matt: No. You don't know what you're saying.
me: I bet he gives great hugs. Just like really tight, but not too squeezy
Matt: Wrong. He's never hugged anyone.
me: Ooo, that makes him interesting.
me: Greg is so interesting
Matt: No!!
me: I think I'm in love with him.
Matt: He probably wants to kill puppies.
me: Greg would NEVER.
me: Matt
me: MATT
Matt: falsjdifjalijsd
me: MATT
me: This is a serious question
Matt: Liar
me: MATT
me: MATT DO YOU THINK GREG CRIES IN SAD MOVIES
Matt: No he laughs.
Matt: Because he's a sicko
me: I wonder what our babies will look like.
[Matt is offline. Messages you send will be delivered when Matt comes online.]
Watchtheidiotking:
See You Then, Then
Directed By Trevor Byrne
Starring Pearl Wible, Tallie Medel, Landon Zackheim, Dave Horwitz, & Sunita Mani
This is a 100% improvised short made by my ex-roommate and current friend Trevor Byrne (with camera work by Sam Molleur). The actors were told their relationships to each other and the basic premise, and that’s it.
This is great. Plus it lead to a...
“I’m in, but only if it’s a complicated domestic partnership OR an...”
– My friend Megan, on our burgeoning Facebook relationship status
Top Fifteen
Farley: Honestly, being tall and funny enough has gotten me most anything in my life.
Me: Name 15 things.
Farley:
Girls to date me.
Girls to hook up with me.
People think I’m OK at basketball.
Points with old ladies when I help them take down groceries from high shelves.
People don’t want to fight me.
I come across as a dependable friend.
I make great jokes when trying...
“If you don’t get any work done because you’re watching puppy videos;...”
– Matt Ingebretson, World-class grumpus
Sketch Cram - Saturday December 10 @ Midnight →
Once a month, we cram together UCB’s top writers, performers, and students to craft an all-new sketch comedy show from scratch. See your favorite performers from hit UCB shows like ASSSSCAT, Facebookand Harold Night, whose credits include The Onion, Conan, Reno 911 and more! Sketch Cram – all the comedy you can cram into a single show. Featuring 100% new content every month! Directed by Tim...
“We’re not hookers, we’re just from Jersey.”
– Snooki, episode 11 “Situation Problems”
Watchmikekarnell:
Very excited to check out The Enchanted World of Polish Children’s Animation this weekend at Cinefamily. There’s a boatload of cool stuff going on, including this, so head on over and exercise your brain.
So good!
