tumblush asked: I think you need to watch Starship Troopers again. And again and again and again! Watch it until you realise that it is the best film ever made that wasn't written by Amy Heckerling.
On the issue of certain choices made in Star Trek...
I was recently* made aware that a scene where Benedict Cumberbatch takes an angry shower was cut from the final movie. I feel that this was a mistake. I understand that in the development of a film, especially a blockbuster with the budget and fanbase of the Star Trek franchise, that many factors dictate the final result. But again, I can’t stress enough how much of a mistake this was. I...
Quick and Useless Review - Star Trek Into Darkness
I’m starting to get old. Not in a way where I’m really ready to take a hard look at my life and really make some positive changes, but in the way that I’m unwilling to go see every garbage blockbuster at midnight. I get too sleepy and for the most part the ratio of inevitable disappointment to exhaustion isn’t worth it to me anymore. I made an exception for Star Trek...
Ask Alison: Age Hangups, Cheap Weddings, and... →
Good advice from someone who is terrible at dating I swear I won’t link to this every week, but I am writing a new dating advice column for The Atlantic and I hope you read it and like it. Send me weird sex questions, plz.
Wits: Patton Oswalt with Ben Lee →
In this week’s show, comedian and actor Patton Oswalt and host John Moe are John Oates and Daryl Hall: Animal Control Officers in our Maneater Pop Song Correspondence. Singer-songwriter Ben Lee squares off with Patton in our Wits Game Show, and we’ve got another Charlie Brown story. In this latest installment, featuring John Moe, Patton Oswalt and actress Ione Skye, Linus quits his...
An Open Letter to White Male Comedians →
“I have more experience doing comedy than you have being a woman.” This is an ongoing conversation/argument, but Lindy West tackles it bravely and intelligently.
This Week in Podcasts: A 'Comedy Bang Bang'... →
When Hüsker Dü covered the classic Byrds song “Eight Miles High,” it was the first time that casual listeners were able to understand what the band was trying to do, because they were able to compare and contrast the clean sounding, popular song to the distorted, faster version the Dü put out. Suddenly the Minnesota band’s sound made sense and was more coherent and pleasing to...
LOUNGE LIZARD WHO ONLY SINGS ABOUT HOW HE LOOKS...
When we pitch sketches to WITS, a lot of them don’t get picked (because they are terrible) here is an example: A terrible Vegas crooner is booked in one of the divey casinos way off the strip. He does all of the standard lounge lizard fare; flirting with elderly ladies, cracking cheesy jokes, etc. Once the actual crooning starts, it’s all about how much he loves his tuxedo and how he...
Steve: Sounds like you like everything about this guy.
Me: I like everything about this guy.
Steve: Ok well, that's going to go away.
Wits: Michael Ian Black with A.C. Newman →
This week, comedian, actor and author Michael Ian Black joins Cop Squadron, indie-pop powerhouse singer/songwriter A.C. Newman writes a very catchy theme song for the canceled show Lauren and I wrote the first sketch of the show about where babies really come from. No one laughs at our appeteasers jokes but we love them enough for an entire audience. Give it a listen, yeah?
There’s a Garfield strip where Garfield can’t decide whether or not to sleep or eat, so he gets in his little cat box bed and puts his face in a sheet of lasagna and falls asleep. More than Kafka’s alienation in Metamorphosis, or Steinbeck’s aching loneliness, or Hemmingway’s constant fear of castration; Jim Davis spoke to my soul in those three panels.
Jason Collins Comes Out as a Gay N.B.A. Basketball... →
The basketball player has made history, becoming the first active male player in any of the big four of American sports leagues—baseball, hockey, basketball, and football—to come out as gay. This is huge moment. Jason Collins making a brave step forward and we should all be grateful and proud of this.
I’d walk through hell in a gasoline suit to play baseball.– Pete Rose
Hulu: Alison, do you want to watch Scandal?
Me: No thanks, Hulu. I'm not really interested in Scandal.
Me: What? What is it, Hulu?
Hulu: It's just that... Well, it's just that based on your other viewed shows, I thought you would like ABC's gripping drama, "Scandal."
Me: No, I mean, I understand the confus-
Hulu: Staring Kerry Washington
Me: Right. It just doesn't appeal to me, okay? Let's watch Nashville.
Hulu: See, Nashville is another ABC drama.
Hulu: So you should like Scandal, because they are the same.
Me: No, Hulu. That's not how humans are.
Hulu: My algorithms are telling me that yes, that's exactly how humans are. You should watch Scandal.
Me: I don't want to watch Scandal.
Hulu: Can I put Scandal in your queue?
Me: I really wish that you wouldn't.
Hulu: Should I suggest that you watch it every time you log into your account?
Me: Again, no. It's not beneficial to either of us.
Hulu: Can I put on Scandal after you've masturbated to Chicago Fire and fallen asleep?
Hulu: You love Scandal.
I caught a pregnant ladybug in a mason jar once, when I was little. She just kept frantically circling the edge, pooping out her tiny translucent eggs. She walked over them so carelessly as though she knew they would go to waste if she was held captive by an eight year-old. It seemed like she had hundreds of them, an entire little unfertilized army. I freed them in my backyard the next day,...
Broke up with a guy via text message. Felt bad. Ate entire tub of guacamole.
Summer Heights High →
I know I’m late to the party but Chris Lilley is a genius.
Last night, I was talking with a friend who is fairly exhausted with Pitchfork (we all are, right?) And I read a review of Daft Punk’s “One More Time” aloud, rolling my eyes at all the particularly pompous parts (which was most of it). It’s a tough thing to write about, music. It’s completely subjective and the word “ethereal” is hard to spell. ...
Thought Catalog: 30 Other Things Every Woman... →
I generally think that lists are ruining the internet and the some of the articles featured on Thought Catalog make me wonder if it’s catering to man-hating cat ladies who just ended a six month relationship with someone they met on MetaFilter, but this I liked.
We’re all lonely for something we don’t know we’re lonely for....– David Foster Wallace I think about this quote a lot. Sometimes, when I feel alone at a party and sometimes when I’m introduced to a particularly handsome sandwich that I didn’t know I’d been waiting for my whole life.
Good Will Hunting →
I work from home most of the time lately, and I like having something on in the background. Most of the time it’s not a great idea. I get distracted and lose valuable hours, but I’m also not frustrated with myself enough to change the behavior (although I know several editors who are). For no discernible reason other than cuteness of name, I prefer Hulu to Netflix. It certainly offers...
I do not fear death →
By ROGER EBERT I will pass away sooner than most people who read this, but that doesn’t shake my sense of wonder and joy.
Magic Castle Dress Code
Taken directly from the site: Men Men must be in coat and tie (standard or bow tie) Exceptions to the “tie rule” are: turtlenecks, bolo ties, ascots, jeweled collars, ruffled collars and banded collars. Military Dress, ethnic and/or religious attire will also be allowed. No zippered jackets, outdoor jackets, polo shirts, t-shirts, denim (or colored denim), shorts, sandals, flip...