This shit would NOT fly with the Whiskers.

(Thanks Ryan)

yhf asked: Do you still do the thing where you try to get little old men to show you what's in their pockets, or did some ghastly thing happen that made you never ever curious about that ever again?

I still love the idea!  I struggle with the social inappropriateness of the whole thing.  I don’t know if I can stress enough, how much the idea of walking up to a complete stranger and discussing anything - let alone the contents of their personal pockets - terrifies me.  The few times I have attempted it I have been either drunk, or in the presence of a kindly old man whom I could physically force to do my bidding (if need be).

I suggested the idea to Jordan, and the “what’s in your pockets?” enjoyed a brief stint on the exponentially more popular Jordan, Jesse, GO! podcast.  I still love the idea, and basically no matter the company, I always kind of wonder what kind of pocket business is going on in there.  But I’m just too timid to ask.

I encourage anyone to try it.  Older, eccentric-looking men never disappoint.

heymikehenry:

Happy 108th Birthday, Charles Lindbergh!

Listen I’m not here to tell you that Mike Henry and I are friends (which we are).  I’m not even here to tell you that Mike Henry and I are BEST friends (because it’s obvious).  I’m just letting you know that Mike Henry is a curator of American history, a master of knowledge, karate enthusiast, and interior designer.  You should watch this.

Someone take this website away from me.

Rare Baby Albino Snapping Turtles

Gross.

Meerkat Manor and Jersey Shore linked together by some sort of universal truth

1. Here.
2. Here.
3. Here.
4. Here.
5. and Here.

Top 5 Titles for My Autobiography

1. Animals in Hats
2. Is this Microwave Safe?
3. Not without My Chapstick
4. I had No Idea We were Related
5. You were Mean to Me in Seventh Grade (And I’m Still Cheesed-Off About It)

Hey Tumblr, can Wednesday be Baby-Animalesday?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Like how they put it in a tub of water, then seem to say, “You think he looks cute in this tub of water, wait ‘til you see him in THIS tub of water!”

And the prettiest palm award goes to....

beeborg:

ALISON! Seriously. I am 100% confident that, with lovely palms like that, she’s never had the following: Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, Hand-Foot-and-Mouth disease (coxsackie virus), or Treponema pallidum (syphilis).

I totally have Syphilis.  I plan on keeping it, though.  It’s the only way to get my name in the same sentence as Nietzsche.